Save Room
by renisanz
Summary: Ronon didn't know what he had been expecting upon entering the infirmary, but it wasn't this.
1. Chapter 1

TITLE: Save Room

AUTHOR: renisanz

SUMMARY: Ronon didn't know what he had been expecting upon entering the infirmary, but it wasn't this.

CATEGORY: friendship [Ronon,Teyla, comfort, pre-ship [Ronon/Keller

RATING: PG

DISCLAIMER: I don't own 'em, but this plot bunny kept nagging.

NOTES: Spoilers for Season 4: _Adrift, Lifeline, Doppleganger, Missing_. Events occur right after _Missing_.

Ronon noticed Dr. Keller leaving the infirmary late that night. He was surprised that her shift hadn't ended earlier, considering that only yesterday she had been fighting for her life, running from the Bola Kai through the woods of New Athos. Though the Bola Kai were fearsome warriors, Ronon knew that he wouldn't have had much trouble eluding them alone. Teyla, however, was charged with the task of not only fighting them off, but also keeping Dr. Keller alive at the same time, until Atlantis realized they were overdue for their scheduled check-in and sent help.

Even now, Teyla was still in the infirmary as a result of the wounds she had received on the planet. She had looked fine to him, save for a few cuts and bruises. But then, he wasn't a doctor. Medical professionals had the tendency to be a little too cautious, in his opinion. Despite this, he found himself draw to the infirmary . . . to Teyla.

The medical ward was lightly staffed this time of evening, and he was able to enter without encountering anyone on duty. He was glad of it. He was pretty sure visiting hours didn't go to this hour of the night. Not that they would have been able to stop him either way. Among all of his teammates, he and Teyla were the closest. It was more than just being the only Pegasus Galaxy natives on the team. Teyla seemed to understand him on a more personal level. Oftentimes, she was like a protective older sister, reigning in his aggressive nature with her reasoning words. He didn't see this as a weakness in her character, however, all the more so adding to her strength.

Teyla was sleeping now, as he approached her bed. She had been moved to a more secluded area of the infirmary, since she would be there for the next few days. He stopped a few feet away from her bedside, not wanting to disturb her. She deserved what she moments of rest she could get. When she was done healing, she would need all her strength to deal with the loss of her people, and finding out what had become of them.

Ronon stopped a few feet from her, rested his arms across his chest, and allowed eyes to rest on Teyla's sleeping form, the slow rise and fall of her chest. It soothed him.

After a few minutes, having fulfilled his need to make sure Teyla was, in fact, alright, for now, he released a sigh signifying a feeling very closely related to relief and began making his way out of the infirmary. Maybe now he'd be able to get sleep.

Ronon was almost out of the infirmary when he noticed a light on in Dr. Keller's office. He wouldn't have given it a second thought, but the sound of papers rustling piqued his curiosity. He decided there was no harm in checking it out. He quickly scanned around the room and saw that there was no one in the immediate vicinity. Where was everyone, anyway? It wasn't that he wanted to encounter any particular member of the med-staff, still the area seemed unusually quite, save for the continuous hum of the machines that was characteristic of any medical facility.

Slowly, Ronon approached the office, not wanting th alert whoever was making the ruckus of his presence, if in fact, it was nothing. He eyes fell upon form of a slim young woman leaning over a desk. He light brown hair fell loosely across her shoulders, covering her face. She was looking intently at something in her hand. He couldn't see what it was. He had been watching her for only a few moments, when she sighed deeply and brushed the hair away from the left side of her face, tucking it behind her ear. In profile, the distinctive features of Dr. Jennifer Keller were revealed.

It was only then that she seemed to notice him standing at the door. Her head snapped up, eyes wide with unshed tears, a small gasp escaping her lips.

Ronon didn't know what he had been expecting, but it wasn't this.

TBC

A/N: This is my first ever attempt at fan fiction, so I'd love to know your thoughts on the story, Crits and comments are quite welcome, and much appreciated. I'd really like to hear you guys' feedback on this story. Thank you.


	2. Chapter 2

Stock still he stood in the doorway. Funny, he would think later, that he could face a menacing Wraith no problem, had killed over a hundred while on the run. He found this situation all the more terrifying. He wasn't used to having to deal with things you couldn't shoot away. Dr. Keller was obviously upset about something, something that caused her at this moment to be on the verge of tears.

"Oh. . . Ronon. You scared me." She was clutching a picture frame to her chest. She turned away from him, and appeared to be looking for something on the desk. He could see her hand as she quickly wiped the finger of her right hand across both her eyes, and sniffed. She faced him once more. "Uhm. . .did you need something? Another late night of sparring?" she smirked.

He blinked twice, "No," cleared his throat. "I didn't see any other doctors around. . .my shoulder's been bothering me the last couple of days. . ." He winced infinitesimally, avoiding her gaze. It wasn't exactly a lie. He had completely healed after having the knife of glass that has lodged in his shoulder during the Replicator attack removed. Still, he hadn't taken it easy on the injury after being released from infirmary. He was used to dealing with pain and this was the last thing for which he would have sought medical treatment. And it definitely wasn't hurting right now.

"I'll come back later," he shifted his weight between both feet, fighting the urge to run from the room.

"No, it's fine," Dr. Keller was saying now. She seemed to have composed herself in the short time since he'd startled her. "Just sit here, and I can give it a quick look," she said, motioning toward the edge of her desk.

He was about to hesitate once more, but she her expectant look gave no question that she wouldn't take "no" for an answer. She was the boss in this domain. Ronon smirked at the thought.

She placed the picture frame on the on opposite end of the desk from where she had indicated for him sit. Ronon didn't let it go unnoticed. "What is that?"

Jennifer looked flustered for a moment. "What?" She followed his gaze to the frame." She gingerly picked it up and revealed a photo to him. "It's a photo of my mom and dad. I took it a few months before my mom passed away," she finished quietly.

He took in the black and white photograph, an older couple smiling back at him. The woman, Keller's mother, was smiling brightly at the camera. Her father focused an admiring gaze on his wife. One of his arms was wrapped around her shoulder, the fingers of his other hand tightly entwined with his mate. Ronon felt the something tighten in his chest at the sight—a memory from a life long gone.

"They look happy."

"Yeah," Jennifer agreed. "They were. Very." She looked at the photo once more, and then set it back on the edge of her desk. "Ok. . .I'm gonna need you to lift up your shirt. You don't have to take it all the way—"

In one swift motion Ronon had reached behind his head, grabbed his shirt at the middle of his back and was now holding the material loosely in his lap.

"—off. Okee-dokee." She narrowed her eyes incredulously. "I thought you said your shoulder was bothering you."

"I've learned to ignore it." Right, which is why he was at the infirmary right now.

If Dr. Keller noticed the gaping flaw in his logic, she kept it to herself, to Ronon's immense relief.

She did, however, roll her eyes, shaking her head. "I know you're used to being the 'tough guy' around here, but you probably could have avoided this if you had maintained the physical therapy regime that was given to you to help your shoulder heal." She pressed around the still fresh 3-inch scar that was left at the join of his shoulder and chest. He fingertips were unexpectedly cool and soothing against his skin. Carefully, she put her left hand underneath his bicep, her right hand resting lightly on his forearm, indicating for him to lift up his arm. He relaxed and let her guide his arm in a full range of motion. He finally felt a bit of discomfort when she lifted his arm so that his elbow reached above his head, and again when she moved his bicep was lateral to his chest, arm bend at the elbow. Ok, so now his shoulder actually was sore. He told her as much.

Dr. Keller lowered his arm back to a resting position against his side. She sighed slightly, thinking. She absently brushed her hair away from her face once more, and with both hands quickly twirled the ends of her hair together to keep them back, exposing the creamy white skin of her neck in the process. Ronon was looking at her the entire time she did this. It was a simple gesture in itself, but for he found it incredibly . . . alluring. He allowed his gaze to travel down the line of her neck to the hollow of her throat, down once more to linger only a moment to the delicate lace of the camisole top revealed by the few buttons left undone at the top of her shirt.

He immediately snapped his eyes back up to her face when he noticed her head shift back in his direction. He had been blatantly checking her out, and she was too distracted to notice. He'd seen her come up with diagnoses much more quickly, and this was just a pain in his shoulder.

"Are you okay?" He allowed himself to ask. He tilted his head slight to meet her eyes, his way of conveying that his concern was genuine.

She returned the eye contact for only a moment, seemingly considering something. A slight blush rose in her cheeks. "Yeah . . . It's been a long day. I mean, your shoulder is fine. I'd recommend you get with a physical therapist and so he can recommend some stretches you can do to loosen up the muscles. You sustained a rather serious injury, considering. Everyone heals differently, so the pain may not ever go away completely, but I'm sure that's something you can manage." She smiled slightly.

He shrugged, pulled his shirt back on with markedly less ease than it took for him to shed it.

"You really should try to take it easy on that arm though, or at least not strain yourself and then ignore it. You know that's your body's way of telling you to stop," she lectured. Her eyes no longer wavered, her lips pursed in slight exasperation. It was this expression in particular that drew his attention to the split in her lip, evidence that she hadn't survived the Bola Kai encounter completely unscathed. He was more than a little unsettled as to how the injury stood out in contrast to her otherwise pristine complexion.

"Ok. I'll try." It was the best he could offer. Life on Atlantis didn't stop for him to heal from minor injuries.  
"Ok." She conceded.

They stared at each other, the air of the office growing awkwardly tense with things left unsaid.

"So," Ronon started after a moment. "I'm good to go?"

"Sure," she smiled vaguely gesturing towards her office door.

Ronon hopped off the desk, finally on his way to bed.

"Hey, Ronon. . ." Dr. Keller faltered for a moment.

He pivoted effortlessly on his heel to face her. "Yeah?"

She opened her mouth as if to say something, then, seeming to reconsider, closed it again. This much be serious. Slowly, Ronon's stepped back into the office, closing the door quietly behind him. "What is it?" he prodded gently.

She was twisted her hair away from face one more, this time in a nervous gesture. She leaned against the desk, shaking her head in what Ronon perceived to be an effort to clear her thoughts. When she finally eyes finally met his, her eyes, glistening once more, seemed to bore into his very being.

"What's it like to kill someone?"

TBC

A/N: This is my first ever attempt at fanfiction, so I'd love to know your thoughts on the story. Crits & comments are quite welcome, and much appreciated. Thanks to all who reviewed on the first chapter. It's good to know there are people reading and wanting to know what happens next.  



	3. Chapter 3

"What?!"

Jennifer winced. His response was pretty much what she'd expected. What was it like to kill someone, to take their life . . . to have that power? The question had plagued her since the conversation with Nabel shortly before she and Teyla had been rescued on New Athos.

"_I'll shoot you." She prayed that the threat alone would be enough to deter him. She felt as if took all her strength just to keep the gun trained on him._

"_Huh," he seemed to consider it. "No, you won't," Nabel sneered. "You don't have it in you. You're a doctor, a _healer_. . . not a killer."_

"_You're right. I _am_ a healer. But first I need something to heal."_

And then she'd shot him.

She closed her eyes in an effort to fight back the fresh tears forming at the memory. She barely felt Ronon sit down on the desk about a foot away from her. She hadn't even seen him move.

"Back on the New Athos, Nabel—the guy who turned out to be a Wraith worshiper—told me that I wouldn't shoot him because I was a doctor, a "healer." I had just saved his life the night before. I guess he figured since I went through all that, I wasn't going to kill him. I didn't. I _couldn't_."

Ronon nodded, the confused expression now replaced with one of understanding. "Well, you're _not_ a killer," he stated matter-of-fact.

For some reason, Jennifer didn't find that fact as comforting as she should have. She supposed that was really what had been bothering her. "I did shoot him in the thigh, though."

Now Ronon's expression was a combination of amusement and admiration. "Really?"

"Yeah. I wasn't planning on healing it either. He betrayed me and Teyla, and I felt so helpless, even after I'd fought him for the gun—" Ronon's shocked expression didn't go unnoticed. "Yeah, shocking. I know. I fought pretty dirty, actually." She allowed herself to feel only slightly ashamed at the fact. She explained to Ronon, "I gut-punched him. . . after all the fuss I made about not moving him for fear of tearing the sutures I put in his abdomen. Funny how all that goes out the window when your life is on the line, ya know."

"Sorta. I probably would have killed him."

"Yeah, that's your specialty."

He gave her an unreadable expression. "Oh, no, no. . . I didn't mean it like that. I mean, you're good at killing people . . ." Jennifer felt the blush rising in her cheeks. She sighed in frustration. "This is not at all how I imagined this conversation going."

"You and me both," Ronon agreed. He repositioned himself against the desk, crossing his arms on his chest for a moment, and then, seeming to think better of it, rested his hands on either side of him.

This was the first time she could remember Ronon being visibly uncomfortable. Well, that and the time she started to lose her memory when everyone on the base had been infected with Kirsan fever. She had completely forgotten that she had taken his blood sample for tests the first time he had come to see her. Even now, she remembered the cold feeling of dread that had overcome her when she realized that she was losing her memory. She was terrified of how that would affect her abilities as a doctor, when so many people were depending on her to find a solution to the medical crisis. She still couldn't remember much of the events after the first patient had crashed from the effects of the illness.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to freak you out. I know I was really abrupt with that question earlier."

"I'm still here," he pointed out. He turned to face her, his eye contact urging her to continue with whatever it was she was trying to say.

Jennifer felt her heart do a flip for all the possible implications of the the words he had just spoken. Her cheeks grew hot once more. With much effort she refocused her attention on trying to articulate her thoughts.

"Teyla said that I was afraid to challenge myself. At first, I really thought she was wrong. I signed up to be Chief of Medicine on an expedition in another galaxy. I figured _that_ pretty challenging. But then I realized that medicine has never really been that difficult for me. My dad said that even when I was very young I had an aptitude for it. When I got into medical school, I knew it wouldn't be easy, especially since I was so much younger than everyone else. But I enjoyed it so much, it was never a chore or anything. Having that knowledge, the ability to be able to figure out what's wrong with someone and then fix it, so they can continue living their life. . . It's a great feeling.

"But then, on that planet. . . I was so terrified. I felt so naked and unprepared, you have no idea. And then we were captured by the Bola Kai. Teyla gave me a vague idea of what they did to their victims. Since we were women, I thought they might try to. . ." She couldn't make herself say it. She pushed the thought to the back of her mind. Jennifer released a ragged sigh and willed the tears welling in her eyes not to fall.

"Anyway," she continued, "I put all that effort into saving Nabel, and then at the turn of a hat, I was in the situation where I was willing to do whatever I had to to get him out of my way. But I didn't kill him. I think. . . I think I was afraid to. And now, he could still be out there somewhere. I hate feeling like I did the wrong thing."

So there it was. The proverbial heart of the matter. Jennifer still didn't know if she should have killed the man or not, or even having to consider whether or not she should have killed him at all. She was a doctor. A _healer_. She greatly treasured the responsibility that title bestowed upon her. If the situation was presented, could she willfully end someone's life if it meant saving the lives of those she swore to protect?

Ronon was silent for what felt like minutes. He stared at the wall opposite him, deep in thought.

Jennifer really regretted dropping such a bombshell on him this night. She hadn't been able to sleep after she'd gone back to her room after her leaving in the infirmary earlier. After her shift had ended, she had stayed a few hours after, busying herself with paper work in an vain attempt to take her mind off the of events of the previous day. When she finally left the infirmary and headed for her quarters, she turned around halfway there to retrieve the photo of her mother and father from her office. For some reason she wanted that particular picture close to her.

However, when she finally laid her eyes on the picture, she was overcome with feelings of relief and homesickness. She had been given leave to see her father again. She had a very close relationship, with him, yet, because of security clearance issues, she couldn't tell him about her experience. Maybe, she realized, that was why desperation had caused her to reach out to Ronon. He had been there. He had given her yet another task to take her mind off things. She was good at putting other people before herself.

But then, he had shown concern for her when he could have just walked away.

Now, the painkillers were beginning to wear off, the persistent throb from the sprain in her ankle serving as a pointed reminder of her ordeal. The apparent hypocrisy in the lecture she has given Ronon about not aggravating his shoulder injury was not lost on her.

"Listen, Doc," Ronon spoke finally. He turned to face her, resting his hand consolingly on her shoulder. "Yeah, I've killed people, but that doesn't make me a killer. If my friends need help, I'm there with the gun. It's my job to protect you, and everyone else on Atlantis."

He paused for a moment. Jen could tell he was trying to find the right words to make his point. "I shoot people; you heal them. From what I've seen, you're pretty damn good at it. But we're both using our skills to keep our friends alive and safe.

"As far as killing goes—" Ronon shrugged. ". . .it's not your job, so just clear your mind of it. If and when, the time comes, and you have to make that choice. . . You'll know what to do." He squeezed her shoulder, lightly.

"You make it sound so simple," She said quietly. But it was enough.

He shrugged. "I don't pretend to be complex. That's McKay's job."

Jennifer allowed herself to laugh at that.

"What?"

"It's just. . . you've surprised me a lot tonight, Mr. Dex."

"Well," He cocked his eyebrow, a sly smirk playing across his lips. "I'm not afraid to challenge myself." Until now Jennifer hadn't noticed Ronon's hand resting comfortably at the small of her back, the caress of his thumb.

She opened her mouth to say something, but her brain couldn't process anything past the intimacy of the contact, and, honestly, how good it felt. Instinctively, she leaned into his touch. She felt something tickle the hair at the top of her head. Jen hadn't realized her eyes had been closed until she opened them when she felt the abrupt loss of contact, the sudden absence of warmth from the body so near to her. Ronon was standing in front of her, proferring his hand.

"Come on," he said. "You need sleep."

She stared at his hand, then craned her head back to look into his face._ What had just happened?_ Ronon's features betrayed no emotion, a picture of nonchalance. Too tired to think about it further, Jennifer clasped his hand and let him help her up from her seat on the edge of the desk, grateful he was considerate of her injured ankle.

Once she was up, she Ronon allowed her to pass in front of him, and his hand again found its way to the small of her back, gently guiding her towards the door.

"You don't want to forget this?" Ronon held the picture frame out in front of her.

She took without looking at the photograph inside, hugging it to her chest with crossed wrists.

She turned to face him, "Thank, you." _For everything_. Tomorrow, she would be going home to see her dad, thanks to Teyla, and thanks to herself. She had survived, as Teyla had assured her she would.

He seemed to understand. "No problem."

Once they were out of Dr. Keller's office Ronon stopped her.

"Uhm. . . I'm gonna go see Teyla," he said, gesturing towards the patient ward of the infirmary.

He wasn't asking for permission. Not exactly. "Ok," Jennifer nodded. "If anyone tries to stop you, just tell them I said it was alright."

Ronon gave her a look that conveyed his serious doubt that any of the medical staff would really be able to stop him. He was quite. . .intimidating. "Right. Ok. . .well, goodnight then, Mr. Dex," she put extra emphasis on his name. After a tired wave, she hobbled towards the infirmary exit.

"Goodnight, Doc," she heard him say at her retreating back.

_Say that you'll stay a little__  
Don't say bye-bye tonight  
__Say you'll be mine__  
Just a little bit of love  
is worth a moment of your time_.  
—"Save Room" by John Legend

Finis.

* * *

A/N: Finally, it's done—sorta. My first fanfic. I really enjoyed the struggle of writing this. Ever since I saw "Missing", I've been thinking about a tag for the episode. I surprised myself with how the ending came out. However, I never intended Ronon and Keller to get together by the end of it, because it seemed very unrealistic to me. I just wanted to explore how relationships between people develop. Oftentimes, we confide in the people we least expect, and they provide a surprising level of comfort. So I guess that was what this was about. Two people who are seemingly complete opposites who find a common ground.

I don't think that this the end of this story arch, though. There's a lot of things that I decided to leave out that I'd like to explore later. Someone suggested that I write more interaction between Ronon and Teyla, with him talking about his interest in Keller to her. _Epilogue_, anyone?

Thanks so much to all of you who left a review. I really appreciate the encouragement and constructive criticism.


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